“No is a complete sentence…I found developing the ability to say No expanded my ability to say Yes and really mean it.” – Susan Gregg

One of my recurring frustrations with the world we live in is the idea that the busier you are, the better your life is (or will be).  We’re supposed to get up early, do everything we possibly can all day long until way after the sun goes down, and then do it again tomorrow.

The idea isn’t completely crazy.  We should try to live full lives.  We should try to have an impact on the world.  We should experience the incredible things it has to offer.

But that doesn’t just mean running as fast as you can in every direction all at once.  Specifically, it doesn’t mean that every opportunity to have an impact or experience the world is one to take advantage of. 

There are things that fit who we are and what we’re supposed to be, and things that don’t.  Part of our job on this planet is to figure out which are which and then act accordingly.

That’s especially true for leaders.  When you’re in any kind of leadership role, people want something from you.  Your time, your energy, your approval, whatever.  And it can feel like the expectation is that you always have to say Yes.

Forget that expectation.  You don’t always have to say Yes.  In fact, I would argue that you don’t even have to say Yes most of the time.  I don’t think Yes should be our default setting.

Leaders have so many things on their plate that new things should have to earn that Yes.  If people make demands – or even polite requests – the standard answer should be No unless they can prove they deserve a Yes.

How often do you say No?  How often do you decline an opportunity?  How often do you turn down anyone?  Do people just assume you will always say Yes to whatever they ask? 

You do not have the time or energy to be everything to everyone.  You do not have the time or energy to do everything for everyone.  Use your Yes sparingly, and only when you really want to.  Everything else is a No.